Summer isn’t quite over yet here in Texas, but it is time to head back to school. Teachers and professors are preparing their syllabi and readying their classrooms to welcome new students. Children and adults are stocking up on supplies and packing their lunches and settling into new routines. It can be very exciting, or simply back to the same old, same old. Understandably, heading back to school can overwhelm us with dread. Clearly, a number of horror movies popped into my mind.
Who can’t think of a movie set in a school environment? Even if your best friend was just brutally murdered the night before, you might still strap on your shoes and get back to learning. Who doesn’t fall asleep in class and awake screaming from some sort of vision or terrifying nightmare? Surprisingly, there are a lot of murderous invisible entities, obsessed serial killers, and/or restless spirits haunting school halls or just watching you through a class window. Not to mention the teachers doing too much! Like checking on missing kids and helping students recover from a terrible loss or bullying. Obviously, we need a back to school streaming guide to get into the school spirit.
Invaders from Mars (1986)
Where You Can Watch: tubi, freevee, plutotv, and Prime
THEIR CONQUEST HAS ALREADY BEGUN. . . . HE KNOWS THEY’RE HERE.
In this remake of the classic 1950s sci-fi tale, a boy tries to stop an alien invasion. With the help of his school nurse, the boy enlists the aid of the U.S. Marines. I know this is PG but hear me out. I saw this when I was young and the image of the teacher swallowing the live frog, stuck with me for decades. The aliens are bonkers and I love the dreamy sequences.
The Faculty (1998)
Where You Can Watch: Paramount+
TAKE ME TO YOUR TEACHER.
The teachers at Herrington High are acting bizarrely and the students soon follow. A motley crew of students assemble to investigate and find that aliens are taking over their school! First of all, the cast is superb. Secondly, it’s a creative homage to sci-fi classics like Invasion of the Body Snatchers and The Thing. Most importantly, Elijah Wood was cast as Frodo in The Lord of the Rings trilogy thanks to a cast mate’s information on set.
Disturbing Behavior (1998)
Where You Can Watch: tubi, hoopla, plutotv, Prime
IN CRADLE BAY IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU’RE NOT PERFECT. YOU WILL BE.
New student, Steve Clark, quickly realizes that something’s amiss with his high school classmates. The school clique, “The Blue Ribbons” are a little too perfect along with the town’s facade. After his rebellious friend mysteriously joins the clique, Steve is determined to find out why. This one is sometimes overlooked, but I like The Stepford Children vibes and I love a creepy town full of dirty secrets.
Veneno para las hadas / Poison For the Fairies (1986)
Where You Can Watch: tubi, hoopla, Shudder, amc+, Cineverse
GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN.
In 1965 Mexico City, Veronica, a young orphan girl who has a fascination with witchcraft, befriends Flavia, a lonely and wealthy schoolgirl. Veronica convinces Flavia that she is a real witch and Veronica begrudgingly tags along. The children’s games quickly get out of hand and the girls suffer the consequences. I am never sure what to categorize this movie as but “unexpected” is a sure way to describe it. Don’t get frustrated with fitting it into a box and enjoy the wildly killer conclusion.
The Craft (1996)
Where You Can Watch: max
WELCOME TO THE WITCHING HOUR.
A new student at a Catholic high school falls in with a coven of teen witches who realize that together, they are a more powerful tham they could have imagined. I watched this in the theater when I was a teenager and fell in love. I loved Rochelle and wanted to be like Nancy. Sadly, all the books I found on witchcraft could not duplicate their spells. Who doesn’t want to call to the four corners with their besties?
Tragedy Girls (2017)
tubi, plex, plutotv, peacock, hulu, and Prime
FRIENDS WHO SLAY TOGETHER, STAY TOGETHER.
Two death-obsessed high school cheerleaders use their web show about real-life tragedies to send their town into a frenzy with hopes of becoming modern horror legends. I love watching these two young devils run amuck and I wish nothing but the best for them. This is definitely a good for her type of movie.
Heathers (1989)
Where You Can Watch: tubi, hoopla, plutotv, and Prime
BEST FRIENDS, SOCIAL TRENDS, AND OCCASIONAL MURDER.
A high school girl who halfheartedly belongs to the “in crowd” meets a rebel who teaches her a more devious way to play social politics: by killing their nemeses. Nothing could have stopped me from adding this one on the list or Jawbreaker, so I flipped a coin. It’s quintessential dark comedy.
Spontaneous (2020)
Where You Can Watch: Paramount+
AN EXPLOSIVE LOVE STORY.
The seniors at Covington High are literally exploding. Students Mara and Dylan struggle to survive in a world where each moment may be the last. I usually avoid the love stories however, exploding people, that’s my jam.
Urban Legend (2005)
Where You Can Watch: max
WHAT YOU DON’T BELIEVE CAN KILL YOU.
A college campus is plagued by a serial killer murdering students corresponding to urban legends. Horror legends Robert Englund, Brad Dourif, and Julian Richings grace the screen and Danielle Harris plays a total bitch and I love it!
Cooties (2014)
Where You Can Watch: plutotv and tubi
PLEASE DON’T FEED THE CHILDREN.
There’s something fishy in the chicken nuggets being served at this elementary school, transforming the kids into vicious teacher-eating zombies. Don’t worry, Frodo Baggins does it again. The substitute teacher rallies the faculty to escape the schoolyard. I love kid zombies and they rarely get to star in movies. It’s the best kid zombie film since The Children… thank God they’re somebody else’s!
Little Monsters (2019)
Where You Can Watch: hulu
PLAYTIME IS OVER!
A talentless musician teams up with a kindergarten teacher on a school trip to protect her students from a sudden zombie outbreak. I watched this for Lupita Nyong’o. Fortunately, the movie is great as well. It’s funny and moves at an exciting pace. Most of all, Lupita Nyong’o. I did not care for the Dave character and yet I can watch this again and again.
As a bonus, I highly recommend the South Korean films, The Whispering Corridors series. The films themselves are unrelated in story and characters. The Whispering Corridors, Memento Mori, and The Wishing Stairs are old favorites with excellent characters, themes, and plots. All three are available on Kanopy to stream for free.
Obviously, we could go on and on. However, you need to get back to school and I have already assigned some homework. Watch these when you can and pick a few of your own favorites. Now, that’s the school spirit.
