Hooray, the kids are off to school, and parents can get back to a bit of peace and quiet. Take that secret lunch or shopping trip without those raggedy kids. If they’re smart like mine, they are tracking you, but guess what? No more cell phone usage in class. More importantly, it’s the teachers’ time to shine! Thank you for caring about our children and dealing with the bad, along with all the good. It’s school season, and it’s the teachers who need a helping hand. How about a special back-to-school streaming guide? The teachers are in peril!
Final Destination (2000)
Where You Can Watch: HBO MAX and YouTube TV
Thanks to the latest installment in the Final Destination franchise, fans were streaming the original films en masse. But it’s the first movie that makes this list. Final Destination sees a high school senior class headed to Paris. It’s Ms. Valerie Lewton (Kristen Cloke) who stays behind and is saved by Alex’s (Devon Sawa) vision. How does she repay him? Well, a thanks would have sufficed. And in turn, Ms. Lewton receives one of the most wicked deaths in the franchise. Talk about overkill, and I love it!
Cooties (2014)
Where You Can Watch: Prime, Tubi, Plex, CW, Fandango at Home, and Fubo
Zombie children are the best reason to watch Cooties. These little rug rats get a hold of a batch of tainted chickie nuggies, and the teachers are on the menu. It’s a perfect day for Clint (Elijah Wood) to pick up a shift as a substitute teacher.
The Faculty (1998)
Where You Can Watch: Hoopla and Peacock
Aliens are taking over the entire faculty! Everyone is in danger in this one. When staff start acting stranger than usual and no one believes the students, it’s up to The Mod Squad to uninvade this school.
Cobweb (2023)
Where You Can Watch: MovieSphere+ through Amazon Prime
The scary part isn’t having Lizzy Caplan and Antony Starr as parents, well, not the only scary part. The stunning Miss Devine (Cleopatra Coleman) has a student, Peter (Woody Norman), who needs special attention. Strange noises are keeping the poor kid up, and Miss Devine is about to make a house call. Never make house calls. This movie gets wild, and at no time did I think Miss Devine would survive.
Tales from the Hood (1995)
Where You Can Watch: Starz
Tales From the Hood may not foot the bill to be on this list, but it’s the segment entitled “Boys Do Get Bruised” that fits just right. Teacher Richard Garvy (Rusty Cundieff) is particularly concerned about a young student named Walter Johnson (Brandon Hammond) who is coming to school with bruises. This segment made me cry so much, and it was one of my favorites from my teen years. This particular student needs help, and when his teacher, Mr. Garvy, steps up, he isn’t safe either.
Scream (1996)
Where You Can Watch: Cinemax and HBO MAX
We all know Sidney (Nev Campbell) isn’t safe anywhere in this movie. She’s chased around her own home and her high school bathroom and survives, but the principal is in danger as well? I know Henry Winkler did not survive a waterski jump over a shark to be picked off by Ghostface. Maybe he pissed off one or two students? Principal Himbry needs to count his days.
The Bad Seed (1956)
Where You Can Watch: Fandango at Home and Kanopy
I recently introduced The Bad Seed to my family, and they all agree that Roda Penmark (Patty McCormack) is a bad kid. She’s also a nasty little student in the Ferns’ day school, where she bullies the other kids. The adults and kids alike need to keep away from Roda, and dear Miss Fern has her suspicions. Keep an eye on those naughty students and don’t take bullying lightly.
Sister Death/ Hermana Muerte (2024)
Where You Can Watch: Netflix
A novice nun, Narcisa (Aria Bedmar) takes the job of a teacher at an all-girls’ school run by nuns. It’s not the students that the new teacher needs to keep her eyes on, not the living ones anyway.
Antlers (2021)
Where You Can Watch: Fubo, FX Now, and YouTube TV
Let’s circle back to that rule about making house calls. DON’T DO IT. Leave it up to the proper authorities. Actually, that doesn’t make it any better for anyone in Antlers.
I had a handful more movie recommendations, and I am sure you can think of a few. Hit play on your favorites. May all the troubles you teachers see this school year be on the screen only. And friends and family, help your teachers fill their school supplies lists. Most importantly, take your breaks and keep a watchful eye on your students. At least they aren’t ghosts or monsters. Hopefully.
